More often than not, when I have a client who is struggling with someone in their life, it’s because there is a conversation that they aren’t having.
One of my leadership coaching clients was struggling with two of the leads on his team. I mean, he was downright mad. He was questioning their fit for the team. And he could clearly articulate to ME why he was frustrated, so I asked him “How did you respond when you told them all of this?”
I bet you can guess how he responded, right?
“Well, I haven’t told them yet.”
One of the three transformational ideas from Susan Scott’s book, Fierce Conversations, states:
The conversation IS the relationship.
Susan knew what she was doing when she called this a transformational idea. I still remember being in the 2-day Fierce Conversations workshop. When the facilitator dropped that little bomb, I was transformed.
Well, my thinking was transformed. It took some time for me to be brave enough to actually start having more conversations, but I got there.
Back to my client. Had he had some of these conversations earlier, when these were just minor irritations, it may not have gotten as bad for him as it did. And that’s ok.
After our coaching call he had the conversations and this led to some clarity around these relationships. One of the leads may not be a good fit for the team and he found that out by having the conversation. The other lead was grateful to have the conversation and is clear and recommitted to the team.
So, tell me, what conversations do you need to have this week?
PS: The Fierce Conversations book and trainings have been transformational for me and my clients. Learn more about them here.